| its high school all fucking over again
i try to be confident and i try to have friends
but im shy and im a bother and im anoying and no one ever wants to hang out with me
no one ever thinks of me
its fucking happening again
and when im sad
i never know if its legitimate or its a chemical imbalance
and no i dont hide the fact that im on fucking medication cause whats the point?
its medication that helps make me better, just like someone with athsma or cramps or whatever would take
but mine problem makes me a burden
my problem makes me freak out and cry and shake and scream for attention
i just want friends who think about me when they chill
but no
cause i get upset a lot
cause im gonna drag you down with me
i just wanna be better and happy
crying hurts so much
its just brings back the past that hurts even more
i dont want high school to happen again
i just want to be normal and have friends and have people think about me at night
i want people to want to be with me
fuck
i want these god damn pills to put a smile on my face
bottom line: im a closet drama queen |
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| everyone is gone, i'm alone
i dont want to go to work today, or tuesday, or thursday, or anyday
have of me is gone (1/4 colleen, 1/4 amy, the other half being 1/4 me and 1/4 music)
well... time for lunch and going to work early, yay
24 days |
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| so ive worked my ass off this summer
but ive only seen any of my friends like 4 times total
im so sick of working
and no one even visits me
and my boss is a bitch
but other than that i have no problem at all with the job
free food made me gain weight even before college, damnit
in 2 months from now i will just be ending my first week of classes
i really cant wait
ps. i am obsessed with donnie darko |
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| things that suck include looking at peoples pictures of senior week and other things and seeing how little i really had at wissahickon, meaning friends and fun |
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| working isnt bad and all, but i feel like im missing summer
it kinda sucks
people should come by my work around 6ish cause then i can take my 30-45 minute break and chill with them and pretend like i still see people without saying "would you like cream and sugar in that?" or "would you like that in a cup or a cone?"
this is my second to last summer ever and i totaly missed senior week  that makes me sad
and ps, i lost my cell phone again, should have a new one again soon with the same number, but i need everyones number again...
and if anyone ever wants to chill after work or on one of my days off, please feel free to call or contact me in some way shape or form |
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